Last week I was at a website dedicated to stay at home fathers and stay at home mothers. I have been browsing these sites, reading blogs, and even on occasion engaged in conversations via their Instant Messenger. I noticed a disturbing trend while reading the stay at home mom blogs – a lot of them felt taken for granted by their significant other. There was also a level of frustration and exhaustion on the part of the moms. There were plenty of blogs that described similar scenarios, where the mom did everything in the household. From getting up early, and getting laundry started, feeding the kids, and getting everyone ready for the day, watching the kid/s thru’ out the day, shopping, lunch, dinner, cleaning, you name it…they did it all day, everyday. Just reading it was exhausting me. I felt sorry for them – its too much to do for one person! Enter the feeling of “being taken for granted” on top of that. Phew!
The stay at home dad blogs are nothing like that…sure the dads talk about things that frustrate them at times, but most of the time it’s about the enjoyment they get out of being able to spend time with the kids, the funny things that happen to them, and how they appreciate their wives. Wow, so what is the difference? Why do the dads seem to be happier? Is it because they can manage the household and the stress that comes along with it, better than the mothers? OR are they just too proud/ stubborn to admit they are frustrated and exhausted?
Well, I think it isn’t any of the above. its simple tho’ – us dads get a lot of help in sharing the responsibilities of maintaining the house and family. We don’t do everything the stay at home moms are tasked with. Our wives come home from working all day and still share in the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and raising of the kids –as they should. They will never take us for granted, because they know how much work maintaining and managing everything can be.
The moms on the other hand are stuck with their husbands coming home and not contributing. The husbands have no idea how much time and effort it takes to get the most basic tasks done around the house. There has to be a balance. Husbands need to pick up the slack, cook dinner a couple times a week, do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, do SOMETHING.
The worst kind of husbands are the ones who have some insignificant (well paying) job but don’t really even work thru’ out the day. Then they come home and bitch about how tired they are from work…Really? They also have no MAN skills and can’t even put an anchor in the wall to fix the towel rack, or install a new light fixture that has not been working in years. Cutting grass is the extent of their ability, and that is pushing it. When I see guys like this, I shake my head and feel sorry for the wife and kids. Dynamics like these are stifling and cripple the growth of the family.
So, to all you moms out there that are frustrated and feel taken for granted – Put your man in check! Most men just need to be told that they need to pick up the slack, and they will. If you are stuck with a worthless husband, then sorry about your luck! You do have options! To all you stay at home dads – thank your wives and continue appreciating them. I am thankful everyday…
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